And now, a word from God

Pat Robertson 'A Public Relations Nightmare,' Says God

Almighty Holds Rare Press Conference

NEW YORK  - In the wake of his comments about the earthquake in Haiti, televangelist Pat Robertson has become a "public relations nightmare" and a "gynormous embarrassment to me, personally," God said today.
In a rare press conference at the Grand Hyatt in New York City, the usually reclusive Almighty said that He was taking the unusual step of airing His feelings in public because "enough is enough."
"I pray that his TV show would just go away, but of course, when you're me there's no one to pray to," God said, to the laughter of the packed room of reporters.
While God held out no hope that Rev. Robertson's "700 Club" would be cancelled any time soon, He did say, somewhat ruefully, "If Pat Robertson were on NBC he'd be replaced by Jay Leno by now."

The Borowitz Report

The White House has dismissed as "stupid" comments by evangelist broadcaster Pat Robertson suggesting that quake-struck Haiti was cursed.

Spokesman Robert Gibbs said he was amazed by the remarks.
During a broadcast on his Christian Broadcasting Network, Mr Robertson suggested the Haiti's earthquake was divine retribution.
He said Haiti had sworn a pact with the devil when it freed itself from French colonial rule.
 
The White House said the comments were completely inappropriate. "It never ceases to amaze, that in times of amazing human suffering, somebody says something that could be so utterly stupid," Mr Gibbs said.

"But it, like clockwork, happens with some regularity."

Mr Robertson, an 80-year-old former presidential candidate, made the comments on Wednesday on his programme, "The 700 Club".

"They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal," the televangelist said during the broadcast.

"Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other," he added, comparing Haiti to its more prosperous neighbour, the Dominican Republic.

In a statement on his network's website, spokesman Chris Roslan said Mr Robertson never said the earthquake - which is feared to have left tens of thousands dead - was God's wrath.

He added: "History, combined with the horrible state of the country, has led countless scholars and religious figures over the centuries to believe the country is cursed".- BBC