I Like Stimulus - Especially When They Are Coming From Playboy

The Playboy Stimulus Plan

 

Remember a million years ago, when Playboy put the call out for “Women of Wall Street” to help tackle the financial crisis by taking their clothes off? The feature was supposed to run in the February issue, but that came and went with nary a peep of financial services T&A. We assumed it was ’cause no one in the field was willing to get naked, despite the fact that it was for the good of the economy. Apparently, not so much! The spank rag’s May issue features the promised Wall Street spread. I’d say what follows is probably NSFW,* unless you happen to work at SAC, in which case consider this a guide to career advancement. Later today we’ll post the vintage (August 1989) WoWS feature, for comparison’s sake.

*Though we did cover the most intimate areas with a familiar face.

First up we’ve got Tara DeGregorio, a “former executive assistant” at “an elite Fortune 500 company.” Tara’s business wisdom: “I was a rule breaker. I liked high stilettos and cute skirts. I tried to abide by the rules, but I pushed the envelope whenever i could, especially in the summer.”

Next, Regina Chapman, a branch-bank VP. Says Chaps: “I deal with men who have been in the business for years, but I prove I know what I’m talking about.”

Here we have Alicia Taylor, a managing member at Mortgage Solutions. Before the markets tanked, she was “literally about to buy a plane.” Alicia’s motto is, “If you stay ready, you’ll never have to get ready.” Taylor seriously adds, “I never want to get caught with my pants down.”

Above, Georgia Anderson. She’s a broker at Global Futures.

Here we have Tinea Smith, casually getting out of a cab. She’s a financial advisor at Charles Schwab.

At left, Katherine Bhuckdwonges. She used to be a credit manager at Wells Fargo, until they laid her off. Ridic! According to Katherine, WFC “hires the best looking people.” At right, equities trader Maria Pearson. A year ago, she had “four computers and three phones” at her desk and they were “going crazy.” She didn’t have time to “get up for a second,” or pose for spank rags. Now, “not so much.”