Terrorists of the world to send in their condolences

So we heard that Kalashnikov – the makers of the AK-47 and, also, a fine vodka in an even finer rifle-shaped decorative glass bottle – is filing for whatever is the Russian equivalent of chapter 11 bankruptcy. Straight out of Pravda:

The Court of Arbitration of the Republic of Udmurtia registered a petition in bankruptcy of JSC Izhmash (Izhevsk Mechanical Works), the largest firearms maker in Russia, Interfax reports. The court hearings to investigate the causes of the petition will be held on October 7, 2009.


Izhmash, the pride of the nation’s defense industry, may prove to be an unprofitable enterprise. Udmurtia’s Court of Arbitration will look into the financial documents of the group of enterprises of Izhmash Concern. If reasons for bankruptcy are unveiled, Russia’s largest maker of firearms will have to be reorganized.


Bankruptcy proceedings, if they take place, will relieve Izhmash of its debt burden.

It is worthy of note that the production at Molotov Works, a part of Izhmash Concern and the maker of the renowned Kalashnikov assault rifle, was stopped not so long ago, news agencies said. The production was stopped due to the absence of the state order: the company has no money to pay salaries to employees and return debts to creditors.

We’re relieved to hear they aren’t headed for liquidation, as the last thing the Caucasus needs is for some dude to come in from Chechnya and bid a dollar and walk out with a rifle factory, or something like that. But, if they’re having trouble keeping the lights on by just selling plain old guns, we’d like to suggest they consider some alternative revenue streams. Licensing the name to the Kalashnikov vodka is a good way to diversify, but also, were they paying attention to Justin Melnick’s “Arm Me” exhibition last year? A Louis Vuitton x Automatic Kalashnikov collab could be just the thing to kickstart this old Russkiy brand back to the forefront of the luxury assault weapon market. I know I’d be on the waiting list, especially if they can get Murakami involved.


I’m kidding, but only halfway. If you ask JSC Izhmash why they’re having to file bankruptcy, the reason they give is that their gun has been completely knocked off, and the fake AKs outsell the real ones 10 to 1. Louis Vuitton knows a little about dealing with a flood of counterfeits in the market, as well – but LV has kept its cache, whereas AK has become commodified. So – slap some LV logos on the AKs and they become a dictatorial status symbol again! Hey, at least it’s not like I suggested they start manufacturing the ones with Hello Kitty on them.

From Anirudh Sethi Report